Jumping Through Hoops To Make Sales

Posted on 25th June 2015

Do you ever get the feeling that it’s becoming harder to do business? I’m not talking about sales… I’m actually talking about buying stuff. Doing deals where I am the customer – generating income for someone else by investing in myself.

This weekend, whilst Charlotte Church and Russell Brand were getting chauffeur driven away from the latest organised march to say Austerity is bad, I was busy looking for properties to expand my business. I found four local websites and made contact.

One of them should have a warning on it to tell me I’d need Professor Stephen Hawking to help me actually find the contact details. The other three had forms or email links. I made contact stating what I am looking to pay for.

Come Wednesday and I’d had one reply. It said, we’ll put you on our list, but why don’t you check out our website!

I eventually contacted one through Twitter saying I’d filled in there form… We didn’t get an enquiry through the website came the reply.

Yes, sorry about that. I actually lied. So sorry to have disturbed you.

Meanwhile, I’ve found another property I am interested in. The tenant is in a financial sticky place so I got through to the landlord to say I’d take on the lease. Twenty minutes into a stilted conversation, I’m none the wiser as to whether he’s that bothered about doing a deal on his empty property. If it was me, I would have been snapping my hand off.

I’d bang my head against the wall in frustration except I worry about turning into Frank Bruno with the amount of pummelling I’d take on a daily basis. Know what I mean Harry?

Not Just The Big Stuff

I go into a shop and some young whipper snapper shop assistant calls me “Bruv” – despite the fact I don’t recognise him from my childhood and we don’t share any characteristics.

I ask an assistant an actual question and I get so many “uummms” I think they’re doing an impression of the Flying Pickets singing Only You.

I walk into a restaurant and check I am not wearing an invisibility cloak as I get ignored. What’s going on with the world? Is it me?

Flip Side

Arkwright Sales techniquesWorking in marketing I often have conversations where a client says, I want more sales leads – especially through the web. But, when you ask about what happens with ones you get now, or, hask how they talk to existing contacts, the answers aren’t that promising.

I don’t want much as a customer – I just want to know you value me. Call me an attention-grabbing needy fool, but if I am prising open my wallet, give me a little stroke to make me feel worth it.

Bring back the old fashion shop keepers I say.


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